𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿 A love letter to my spirit.🌹
All the seeking , looking outside of myself to find you…
I thought I would find you in him, the approval of others, I traveled far and wide to find you. I searched the depths of rock bottom to cry and reach for you.
Through every lover, friend, parents, teacher, stranger you were not there.
Who was the one I was longing for?
Who was the one I could feel deep in my bones but was no where in sight?
Who was the one I searched desperately to find in the eyes and reflection of another?
Until one day I stopped searching .
I sat down, got still and surrendered this internal desperation and fight to find you.
As soon as I let go of the fight a bright purple magenta filled with sparkling gold light presented herself to me.
She devoured every cell, every inch of my entire body.
She made love to me and reflected back to me the brilliance I had been searching all these lifetimes to find.
𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲. 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗵𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘦.
The quiet observer, the ray of light. The watcher.
I looked at the watcher watching me as she merged with my body.
I breathed her in every particle, every light and relaxed.
I jumped backwards off a cliff with my arms out stretched in the sweetest surrender.
“I let go! You take me now, lead me , love me, guide me, free me”
I am home merged back with the golden sea .
